Journey To Sara: Its Been A While!!
posted by Gina Fortini @ 9:28 a.m.
10 comments
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Its Been A While!!
Hi Everybody!
It has been quite a long while since I last posted. I think this is going to be another long one. Grab your coffee or tea and make yourself comfortable and I'll tell you what has been going on these past couple of months.
Holding-Time.........
Sara has now been home with us for almost 8 months now. (On Dec. 30th) In around mid-October Sara had begun to test me. She would purposely do something that she knew would upset me. I was wondering when this was going to start! There's always a honey-moon period before they start to get comfortable and feel safe to misbehave. I think she wanted to see if I really love her and if I will reject her like others have. It was alittle difficult to respond to her in a totally opposite way then what I did with my 3 bio children. I would say,"You've made me SAD.", not "You've made me mad and give her time out." Whenever she misbehaved, I would pick her up and hold her. I would ask her what was the matter. She usually would not answer me or she would scream,"I no want to tell you! Let me go!" I would calmly and firmly say," I will not let you go, I still love you very very much, even after you made me feel sad. I can't let go of you because my baby Sara is mad and sad inside." She would usually put up a big struggle to get away from me. I would hold her firmly and keep repeating what I said before. About 6 different times in October & November Sara put up her biggest struggles while we did holding time. She would try to hit , bite and spit at me. This was difficult to go through but I knew she needed to let these mad & sad feelings out in order for her to grow emotionally healthy. She needs to see that I can handle seeing her in her worst way and not be rejected for it. When she screams for me to let her go, I lovingly tell her that I can't because I love her too much and she is so special to me. This finally helps her too stop fighting and face my true feelings for her and she begins to cry a sad cry and at the same time she hugs me so tightly and cries, "Mamma I love you...I sorry." I responded by crying with Sara and telling her that it was o.k. and that I will love her forever and ever.......no matter what!" Every single time I did this you could clearly see that she was much happier and more affectionate.
Siblings......
Over-all, Sara is a good girl and I am very proud of her. She has accomplished so many things in such a short while at such a young age. She tells me numerous times throughout the day,"Mamma I love you." Sara says it so lovingly and sincere that she melts my heart everytime. I've also begun to give her brothers and sister, Anthony, Marina and Rafael a little more affection as I could see that it was starting to bother them a bit. Them seeing me give their little sister so much more attention then I gave to them. Especially with my youngest son Rafael. (almost 9 yrs) He would purposely try to get Sara in trouble with me. I had a few heart to hearts with him but he would sometimes struggle with me and cover his ears when I tried to tell him how much I loved him and that it has never changed and will absolutely NOT change for any reason. Now things are alot better. He has learned that its o.k to share mom and that I love him more than I ever did. I can now see that he really enjoys playing with his little sister and he really cares for her. Even though they sometimes fight! Sara loves to play with Rafael. She is also clearly enjoying having a big sister like Marina. She is such a mother-hen with Sara sometimes until Sara gets into her make-up and things! Anthony, our 15 yr old son, loves to play with her and often gives her piggy-back rides and is always watching out for her.
My 4 children.........
I remember at one time thinking in my head...."My 3 bio children and my adopted child." I loved all 4 just the same and still do and always will, but I could still feel this difference. I didn't like feeling that way, but I was optimistic in this feeling slowly disappearing as time went on. I think it was because of all the extra special kind of attention I had to give her, which was not the same amount I was giving my other children and simply getting to really know each other, inside and out. I can now happily say that feeling has now disappeared. I simply have 4 children and thats that. I've chalked it up to be a normal adoption experience and nothing out of the ordinary. I just try to go with the flow and deal with things as they come. When I'm not sure how to best handle a new situation, I then go to FRUA chatline and seek some information. I'm very happy with how things have been progressing. There hasn't been anything that I have not been able to handle and I'm very grateful for that. I still have to pinch myself sometimes to make sure I'm not dreaming and Sara is actually right here! I'm very proud of each and everyone of my children and love them for who they are.
October 2006..........
We all enjoyed the beautiful autumn weather this October. There was alot of dirt-biking, 4-wheeling, lawn-tractor riding and camping going on. Sara's always right along side her brothers and sister having a blast. She really likes the outdoors. Before we know it, winter will be here and she'll be enjoying the snow! After Thanks-giving day, I started to explain to her about what Halloween was. Well!...You never saw such excitment for Halloween!! She looked she was in heaven. She really really loves candy. Come to think of it.... her care-givers laughed and joked when I asked what her favourite food was and all said,"Candy!" at the same time! Once I told her that she had to go door to door with a bag and say trick or treat and a person would give you candy........That's all she talked about! "Mamma! Mamma! When Alloween?! Ooooh! Can't wait! she'd say with so much excitment.
On the 28th we attended the last wedding celebration of 2006. We went to our friends Maggie & Joe's wedding. All 6 of us went. We all had a good time and Sara throughly enjoyed herself. She did lots of dancing, which she loves to do. I made sure she had her usual 2-hour nap so she wouldn't be overly tired. We left just shortly after mid-night. She behaved very well.
Patricia & Les.........
Patricia and Les (Sherway on FRUA chatline) were also there. I remember hoping they would receive there appointment to fly to Ukraine soon. Patricia told me about a strange and wonderful thing that happened to her. She was actually feeling very discouraged about the whole adoption thing while entering a store. She grabbed a cart and the wheels weren't working which ticked her off and she grabbed another nearby cart which had some stuff in it. She began to take it out and at the bottom of the cart she saw a plaque with the name "Sofia" on it. She couldn't believe her eyes. This was the name they had picked out for their future daughter!! I'm very happy to say that Patricia & Les are presently in Ukraine. They flew out on Dec. 16th 2006. They had a rough start but have recently found their Sofia! Sara is very excited and can't wait to meet her new friend! Patricia and I plan to give the girls an opportunity to form a special friend-ship. We are happy that they will have each other to confide in if need be. We are dreaming of the day we sit together at the kitchen table watching our girls play together. I can't wait!!
Back to October 2006.......
Well Halloween had arrived and I had purchased Sara the cutest Witch costume! She loved it. A few nights before we all carved pumpkins at the kitchen table. Sara was doing a great job scraping out the insides of her pumpkin. I got her to draw eyes, nose and mouth with a black majic marker. I cut it out exactly the way she drew it. She was very proud of the finished product!
On halloween night we had a early dinner and started getting ready right away. Anthony stayed home dishing out candy while I took Sara around the block with her Uncle Silvo and little cousin Samantha. Marina went out with a girl-friend and Papa took Rafael out to a couple of subdivisions. It was both Sara's and Samantha's first time trick-or-treating. They were having so much fun and they both got the hang of it right away. When it involves candy.........anything is possible! They both tried to dip into there buckets a few times, so Silvo and I let them have alittle. Going around 1/2 a block was just perfect. They were both tired by then and their buckets were full-up! It was also great weather outside and I took some pictures I will post later.
November 2006........
Not too much went on in November. We had our first big snow-fall near the end of this month. One afternoon Sara woke up from her nap and I excitedly told her to look out the window. She squealed,"It's snowing!" She then jumped up and started to do alittle dance on her bed and started to also sing,"It's snowing outside! It's snowing outside!!" She couldn't wait to play in it. After she had a snack, we dressed up in our snow-suits and all and headed to the front yard. I showed Sara how to do a snow angel and she thought that was amazing. We had alot of fun rolling snow-balls on the ground and watching them get bigger. We also built a snow -man. I will also post pictures of this day on a later post. On the last weekend of this month we put the Christmas tree up. We used an artificial tree that I put together by myself with just the lights and garlands. The next day I had the boxes of ornaments ready for the kids to empty out onto the tree. I put on a C.D. of childrens Christmas songs on to set the mood. Sara was so excited! We all began to decorate. You should have seen Sara!! She was doing her little dance inbetween hanging ornaments! We had also given her a special "first Christmas ornament " to her. It was a precious moments ornament. it was a little girl holding a golden bell and 2006 written on her dress. Sara loved it and said thank-you. She later explained to me,"Mamma this so special to me." She would then gently hug her ornament. She actually went to touch it lovingly numerous times after that. Back to the decorating............After we had an excellent time making our Christmas tree, we announced to Sara that she would be placing the Angel on top of the tree this year, which made her jump up & down with excitment. We called Papa and he picked her up high and Sara proudly placed the Angel on the top! She was beaming with joy as we all clapped our hands! Papa put her down and she did a little dance around and around as she said,"I so happy! I so happy!" We all laughed and all I could think of was the joy that this child of ours has brought into our lives. I feel so very lucky to be Sara's mamma !!
Wow! I'd better go now! It's 1am in the morning! I will post all about December very soon and will also post alot of new pictures. Bye for now everyone...........
P.S. Please post your comments!!
Gina
It has been quite a long while since I last posted. I think this is going to be another long one. Grab your coffee or tea and make yourself comfortable and I'll tell you what has been going on these past couple of months.
Holding-Time.........
Sara has now been home with us for almost 8 months now. (On Dec. 30th) In around mid-October Sara had begun to test me. She would purposely do something that she knew would upset me. I was wondering when this was going to start! There's always a honey-moon period before they start to get comfortable and feel safe to misbehave. I think she wanted to see if I really love her and if I will reject her like others have. It was alittle difficult to respond to her in a totally opposite way then what I did with my 3 bio children. I would say,"You've made me SAD.", not "You've made me mad and give her time out." Whenever she misbehaved, I would pick her up and hold her. I would ask her what was the matter. She usually would not answer me or she would scream,"I no want to tell you! Let me go!" I would calmly and firmly say," I will not let you go, I still love you very very much, even after you made me feel sad. I can't let go of you because my baby Sara is mad and sad inside." She would usually put up a big struggle to get away from me. I would hold her firmly and keep repeating what I said before. About 6 different times in October & November Sara put up her biggest struggles while we did holding time. She would try to hit , bite and spit at me. This was difficult to go through but I knew she needed to let these mad & sad feelings out in order for her to grow emotionally healthy. She needs to see that I can handle seeing her in her worst way and not be rejected for it. When she screams for me to let her go, I lovingly tell her that I can't because I love her too much and she is so special to me. This finally helps her too stop fighting and face my true feelings for her and she begins to cry a sad cry and at the same time she hugs me so tightly and cries, "Mamma I love you...I sorry." I responded by crying with Sara and telling her that it was o.k. and that I will love her forever and ever.......no matter what!" Every single time I did this you could clearly see that she was much happier and more affectionate.
Siblings......
Over-all, Sara is a good girl and I am very proud of her. She has accomplished so many things in such a short while at such a young age. She tells me numerous times throughout the day,"Mamma I love you." Sara says it so lovingly and sincere that she melts my heart everytime. I've also begun to give her brothers and sister, Anthony, Marina and Rafael a little more affection as I could see that it was starting to bother them a bit. Them seeing me give their little sister so much more attention then I gave to them. Especially with my youngest son Rafael. (almost 9 yrs) He would purposely try to get Sara in trouble with me. I had a few heart to hearts with him but he would sometimes struggle with me and cover his ears when I tried to tell him how much I loved him and that it has never changed and will absolutely NOT change for any reason. Now things are alot better. He has learned that its o.k to share mom and that I love him more than I ever did. I can now see that he really enjoys playing with his little sister and he really cares for her. Even though they sometimes fight! Sara loves to play with Rafael. She is also clearly enjoying having a big sister like Marina. She is such a mother-hen with Sara sometimes until Sara gets into her make-up and things! Anthony, our 15 yr old son, loves to play with her and often gives her piggy-back rides and is always watching out for her.
My 4 children.........
I remember at one time thinking in my head...."My 3 bio children and my adopted child." I loved all 4 just the same and still do and always will, but I could still feel this difference. I didn't like feeling that way, but I was optimistic in this feeling slowly disappearing as time went on. I think it was because of all the extra special kind of attention I had to give her, which was not the same amount I was giving my other children and simply getting to really know each other, inside and out. I can now happily say that feeling has now disappeared. I simply have 4 children and thats that. I've chalked it up to be a normal adoption experience and nothing out of the ordinary. I just try to go with the flow and deal with things as they come. When I'm not sure how to best handle a new situation, I then go to FRUA chatline and seek some information. I'm very happy with how things have been progressing. There hasn't been anything that I have not been able to handle and I'm very grateful for that. I still have to pinch myself sometimes to make sure I'm not dreaming and Sara is actually right here! I'm very proud of each and everyone of my children and love them for who they are.
October 2006..........
We all enjoyed the beautiful autumn weather this October. There was alot of dirt-biking, 4-wheeling, lawn-tractor riding and camping going on. Sara's always right along side her brothers and sister having a blast. She really likes the outdoors. Before we know it, winter will be here and she'll be enjoying the snow! After Thanks-giving day, I started to explain to her about what Halloween was. Well!...You never saw such excitment for Halloween!! She looked she was in heaven. She really really loves candy. Come to think of it.... her care-givers laughed and joked when I asked what her favourite food was and all said,"Candy!" at the same time! Once I told her that she had to go door to door with a bag and say trick or treat and a person would give you candy........That's all she talked about! "Mamma! Mamma! When Alloween?! Ooooh! Can't wait! she'd say with so much excitment.
On the 28th we attended the last wedding celebration of 2006. We went to our friends Maggie & Joe's wedding. All 6 of us went. We all had a good time and Sara throughly enjoyed herself. She did lots of dancing, which she loves to do. I made sure she had her usual 2-hour nap so she wouldn't be overly tired. We left just shortly after mid-night. She behaved very well.
Patricia & Les.........
Patricia and Les (Sherway on FRUA chatline) were also there. I remember hoping they would receive there appointment to fly to Ukraine soon. Patricia told me about a strange and wonderful thing that happened to her. She was actually feeling very discouraged about the whole adoption thing while entering a store. She grabbed a cart and the wheels weren't working which ticked her off and she grabbed another nearby cart which had some stuff in it. She began to take it out and at the bottom of the cart she saw a plaque with the name "Sofia" on it. She couldn't believe her eyes. This was the name they had picked out for their future daughter!! I'm very happy to say that Patricia & Les are presently in Ukraine. They flew out on Dec. 16th 2006. They had a rough start but have recently found their Sofia! Sara is very excited and can't wait to meet her new friend! Patricia and I plan to give the girls an opportunity to form a special friend-ship. We are happy that they will have each other to confide in if need be. We are dreaming of the day we sit together at the kitchen table watching our girls play together. I can't wait!!
Back to October 2006.......
Well Halloween had arrived and I had purchased Sara the cutest Witch costume! She loved it. A few nights before we all carved pumpkins at the kitchen table. Sara was doing a great job scraping out the insides of her pumpkin. I got her to draw eyes, nose and mouth with a black majic marker. I cut it out exactly the way she drew it. She was very proud of the finished product!
On halloween night we had a early dinner and started getting ready right away. Anthony stayed home dishing out candy while I took Sara around the block with her Uncle Silvo and little cousin Samantha. Marina went out with a girl-friend and Papa took Rafael out to a couple of subdivisions. It was both Sara's and Samantha's first time trick-or-treating. They were having so much fun and they both got the hang of it right away. When it involves candy.........anything is possible! They both tried to dip into there buckets a few times, so Silvo and I let them have alittle. Going around 1/2 a block was just perfect. They were both tired by then and their buckets were full-up! It was also great weather outside and I took some pictures I will post later.
November 2006........
Not too much went on in November. We had our first big snow-fall near the end of this month. One afternoon Sara woke up from her nap and I excitedly told her to look out the window. She squealed,"It's snowing!" She then jumped up and started to do alittle dance on her bed and started to also sing,"It's snowing outside! It's snowing outside!!" She couldn't wait to play in it. After she had a snack, we dressed up in our snow-suits and all and headed to the front yard. I showed Sara how to do a snow angel and she thought that was amazing. We had alot of fun rolling snow-balls on the ground and watching them get bigger. We also built a snow -man. I will also post pictures of this day on a later post. On the last weekend of this month we put the Christmas tree up. We used an artificial tree that I put together by myself with just the lights and garlands. The next day I had the boxes of ornaments ready for the kids to empty out onto the tree. I put on a C.D. of childrens Christmas songs on to set the mood. Sara was so excited! We all began to decorate. You should have seen Sara!! She was doing her little dance inbetween hanging ornaments! We had also given her a special "first Christmas ornament " to her. It was a precious moments ornament. it was a little girl holding a golden bell and 2006 written on her dress. Sara loved it and said thank-you. She later explained to me,"Mamma this so special to me." She would then gently hug her ornament. She actually went to touch it lovingly numerous times after that. Back to the decorating............After we had an excellent time making our Christmas tree, we announced to Sara that she would be placing the Angel on top of the tree this year, which made her jump up & down with excitment. We called Papa and he picked her up high and Sara proudly placed the Angel on the top! She was beaming with joy as we all clapped our hands! Papa put her down and she did a little dance around and around as she said,"I so happy! I so happy!" We all laughed and all I could think of was the joy that this child of ours has brought into our lives. I feel so very lucky to be Sara's mamma !!
Wow! I'd better go now! It's 1am in the morning! I will post all about December very soon and will also post alot of new pictures. Bye for now everyone...........
P.S. Please post your comments!!
Gina
posted by Gina Fortini @ 7:52 p.m.
1 comments
