One Year Ago Today......
Today is March 27th and I had arrived in Kiev with my late-husband Philip..............ONE YEAR AGO.
I remember how nervous and excited Philip and I were. This past week my mind has been flooded with the memories of the last trip Philip and I took together...........and what a trip it was. It was the most amazing journey we ever had experienced together. It is certainly a memory I will always hold close to my heart.
Before I begin, I would like to thank everyone for their heart-warming comments and prayers. I appreciate very much for you's all sending me a message. Pleasantly enough, each & everyone of them came to me at just the right moment. I look forward to reading the comments. It helps to know that people are thinking about us. It is almost 3 months since Philip has passed away. Some days are harder then others. It all depends on what is going on. I am being very patient in taking as much time as possible with myself and the kids to grieve. I don't what to rush things as this will make things worse. I try to talk about Philip or at least mention him whenever I can. It comforts me to be able to talk about him to friends and family. We are all taking it one day at a time. I also try not to hold feelings in. Whenever I have a "moment" arise, I try to just let it go and cry where ever I am. It's hard sometimes because I'm afraid of making someone feel uncomfortable or feel bad. We are all doing o.k. otherwise. The weather has become alot nicer which helps to lift up our spirits sometimes. The winter was making things alittle more depressing.
We just got back from Florida not too long ago. We have been home for a week now. I decided to go to Clearwater, Florida, for the kids March Break. My parents have a condo there. They left here, to go back to Clearwater about a week before I did. My brother-in-law Silvo and my sister Giovanna had asked me before if we would all like to travel with them in their motor-home. They thought it might be good for us to get away for a little while. I agreed with them. Philip and I had already planned to drive down to Florida with the kids in our 5th-wheeler camper. I'm sure Philip would have been very disappointed if we stayed home instead.We all had a nice time and the weather was good the whole time. The kids went into the pool alot and also went fishing & shuffle-board playing with Nonno & Nonna.(grand-pa & grand-ma). We also took them to the beach one day. This was Sara's first time at a beach. She had a blast. She loved how the water would come up and "tickle her toes" and go back out and come back again. She played in the sand alot too. We collected a bunch of the tiniest sea-shells together. I plan to paste them around the pictures taken at the beach. She did not like those aggressive sea gulls. They stole our egg-salad sandwiches right out of our hands! After about a week of being in Florida, the kids were starting to get anxious to come home. Sara started to ask me a week before we left, if she could go home. Everyday she would ask me,"Mama, When we go home? I wanna go home. I miss Mikey(our dog)." For the rest of the week she was not always herself. She was alittle edgy. She was also missing her Daddy alot. Twice Sara got angry and told me she was mad that Daddy wasn't here. I think maybe it reminded her too often of how much she misses her Daddy. Seeing her cousin Samantha (almost 2 yrs old) with her Daddy everyday had gotten to her. She really misses Philip's attention and affection. She still tells me how much she misses him. When we arrived home she was so excited! Sara was as happy as can be. For the rest of the week she told me everyday,"Mommy, I so happy we are home !!!!" She was back to her old self in no time. Actually I'm glad to be back home too. I think our HOME is a "comfort zone" for all of us. This is where we feel safe ,secure and closest to Philip. I'm glad we went away for a little while. It was so nice of Giovanna & Silvo to take us along. I really appreciate that they did this for us.
Today I received a wonderful surprise email! I received an email from our dear driver Leonid in Lugansk, Ukraine! I cried when I read the email. I was so happy to receive it and at the same time I felt sad because I have to tell him the devastating news about Philip. I was hoping and praying that he would contact me. We exchanged addresses, phone numbers etc. just before we said our goodbyes. I had wanted to contact him months ago and I had misplaced his contact information. He said that he has never forgotten us and how we treated him. He mentioned that it was almost one year ago when we first met and that it feels like yeterday. He has asked for pictures and looks forward to hearing from us. I miss him. He was such a gentleman and a good friend.
Well I suppose that is all for now. Take care everyone and please post your messages as I look forward to reading them. Until my next post...........HAPPY SPRING DAYS EVERYONE!...........
Gina
I remember how nervous and excited Philip and I were. This past week my mind has been flooded with the memories of the last trip Philip and I took together...........and what a trip it was. It was the most amazing journey we ever had experienced together. It is certainly a memory I will always hold close to my heart.
Before I begin, I would like to thank everyone for their heart-warming comments and prayers. I appreciate very much for you's all sending me a message. Pleasantly enough, each & everyone of them came to me at just the right moment. I look forward to reading the comments. It helps to know that people are thinking about us. It is almost 3 months since Philip has passed away. Some days are harder then others. It all depends on what is going on. I am being very patient in taking as much time as possible with myself and the kids to grieve. I don't what to rush things as this will make things worse. I try to talk about Philip or at least mention him whenever I can. It comforts me to be able to talk about him to friends and family. We are all taking it one day at a time. I also try not to hold feelings in. Whenever I have a "moment" arise, I try to just let it go and cry where ever I am. It's hard sometimes because I'm afraid of making someone feel uncomfortable or feel bad. We are all doing o.k. otherwise. The weather has become alot nicer which helps to lift up our spirits sometimes. The winter was making things alittle more depressing.
We just got back from Florida not too long ago. We have been home for a week now. I decided to go to Clearwater, Florida, for the kids March Break. My parents have a condo there. They left here, to go back to Clearwater about a week before I did. My brother-in-law Silvo and my sister Giovanna had asked me before if we would all like to travel with them in their motor-home. They thought it might be good for us to get away for a little while. I agreed with them. Philip and I had already planned to drive down to Florida with the kids in our 5th-wheeler camper. I'm sure Philip would have been very disappointed if we stayed home instead.We all had a nice time and the weather was good the whole time. The kids went into the pool alot and also went fishing & shuffle-board playing with Nonno & Nonna.(grand-pa & grand-ma). We also took them to the beach one day. This was Sara's first time at a beach. She had a blast. She loved how the water would come up and "tickle her toes" and go back out and come back again. She played in the sand alot too. We collected a bunch of the tiniest sea-shells together. I plan to paste them around the pictures taken at the beach. She did not like those aggressive sea gulls. They stole our egg-salad sandwiches right out of our hands! After about a week of being in Florida, the kids were starting to get anxious to come home. Sara started to ask me a week before we left, if she could go home. Everyday she would ask me,"Mama, When we go home? I wanna go home. I miss Mikey(our dog)." For the rest of the week she was not always herself. She was alittle edgy. She was also missing her Daddy alot. Twice Sara got angry and told me she was mad that Daddy wasn't here. I think maybe it reminded her too often of how much she misses her Daddy. Seeing her cousin Samantha (almost 2 yrs old) with her Daddy everyday had gotten to her. She really misses Philip's attention and affection. She still tells me how much she misses him. When we arrived home she was so excited! Sara was as happy as can be. For the rest of the week she told me everyday,"Mommy, I so happy we are home !!!!" She was back to her old self in no time. Actually I'm glad to be back home too. I think our HOME is a "comfort zone" for all of us. This is where we feel safe ,secure and closest to Philip. I'm glad we went away for a little while. It was so nice of Giovanna & Silvo to take us along. I really appreciate that they did this for us.
Today I received a wonderful surprise email! I received an email from our dear driver Leonid in Lugansk, Ukraine! I cried when I read the email. I was so happy to receive it and at the same time I felt sad because I have to tell him the devastating news about Philip. I was hoping and praying that he would contact me. We exchanged addresses, phone numbers etc. just before we said our goodbyes. I had wanted to contact him months ago and I had misplaced his contact information. He said that he has never forgotten us and how we treated him. He mentioned that it was almost one year ago when we first met and that it feels like yeterday. He has asked for pictures and looks forward to hearing from us. I miss him. He was such a gentleman and a good friend.
Well I suppose that is all for now. Take care everyone and please post your messages as I look forward to reading them. Until my next post...........HAPPY SPRING DAYS EVERYONE!...........
Gina
posted by Gina Fortini @ 9:22 a.m.
9 Comments:
At 9:38 p.m.,
Anonymous said…
Gina and Family:
It is so nice to have you all back from your vacation. We are glad that everything went well. We read your note and we are so proud of you and your family how strong and united you have all been.
I can't believe a year has gone by and I remember as if it was yesterday when we came to see you before your trip to the Ukraine. Philip and you were both so excited and thrilled of the adventure that you would experience. The happiness and the contagious smile was so delightful to see. All of these memories are so special and you can always cherish them all. Philip and you were both on a mission which gave you a gift of love, a special beautiful girl, Sara. She is just like her Daddy also touching so many hearts.
We also wish you and your family, Happy Spring Days!!!!
Love Ralph, Linda, Krizia & Chantelle
At 10:03 p.m.,
Living Life with Sophia said…
Hi Gina....
I hope you rested a little in Florida. I am glad you are doing well. I think of you often.
I had a laugh when I pictured those darn seagulls stealing Sara's egg salad sandwich. Tell Sara I bet the same Seagull stole Michael's hotdog and left him the bun!!
I can see her now with her little toes in the ocean. I would love to see pictures. It is nice to hear that she finds comfort in her Home....you and Phil did that. You both created a warm, fun, loving home for your children.
I can't believe it has been a year already. I remember our conversations, worries and excitement about our adoption journeys. Wow how time flies...
I hope the weather continues to improve so that the kids can play outside...I know how much Sara loves the outdoors.
Hope to see you all soon and remember I am here for you.
Wishing you Sun Shiny Days!
Love from,
Les, Patricia, Raffael, Michael & Sophia
At 4:01 p.m.,
Unknown said…
Hi Gina,
I think of you and your Kids everyday. We look forward to seeing you in May. The circle of life can be cruel sometimes.I'm so glad I went to Rose's birthday party -- it was the last time I seen Phil. I truly enjoyed his company that night. I'm glad you and the Kids had a chance to get away. God Bless You and Your Kids
Jude, Sarah, and Kenneth Boyle
Big hugs for you and the Kids
(((((YOU))))) and the (((((KIDS)))))
At 11:22 p.m.,
Anonymous said…
Hi zia Gina, Happy Easter.
I hope you had a great Easter weekend. I cant believe a year has gone by for you I remember when you first told me that you and zio were going to adopt. You had told me and Avelia at the same time.
We were in the basement of your moms house for Givonnas baby shower, and Marina had approaced Avelia and I and blerted out you secert. And then you told us! WOW, and that was even more then a year when you told us.
Then I invited you over to my house for supper, and thats when you told my parents and they were so happy. And I believe that weekend Zio Filippo had gone to NFLD, and then we went over to your house a week later when he arrived to congratulate the both of you.
My goodness how time flies. So much has happened in these past few years. The good and the bad. I guess we have to take it as it comes. It amazing how life is so unfaire sometimes, but then in the long run sometimes there is some good that comes out of it, We got Sara!!!
Now we wait to celebrate Sara's 4th birthday. Even though Zio is not with us during this holiday or Sara's birthday we will always have him within our hearts, forever!!!
Zia Gina I love you, keep strong and you wrap your arms around those kids becasue they are your rock and support as you are to them as well.
Love you much, your niece Tonia
At 7:46 p.m.,
Dupa Jasia said…
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At 7:35 p.m.,
alex said…
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At 3:15 a.m.,
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